No, a respondent cannot stop a divorce from going through. Every state has no-fault divorce, so one spouse can end the marriage without the other’s agreement. What a respondent can do is shape the terms — property, support, custody — and the biggest mistake is treating the case as something you can refuse to participate in.
Why No-Fault Law Takes the Decision Out of Your Hands
All 50 states allow no-fault divorce. The petitioner does not have to prove adultery, cruelty, or any other wrongdoing. They state that the marriage has broken down beyond repair, using language like “irreconcilable differences” or “irretrievable breakdown” depending on the state, and that is enough.1Justia. No-Fault vs. Fault Divorce Under State Laws You cannot object to that characterization. A court will not keep two people married because one of them wants to stay.
So the real question is not whether the divorce happens. It is what the final judgment says about your money, your home, and your children. Fighting the fact of the divorce accomplishes nothing. Fighting over the terms can change your life for years.
What Happens If You Ignore the Petition
Once you are served, you have a limited window to file a formal response. The deadline is typically 20 to 30 days from the date of service, though some states give you longer.2Justia. Serving and Answering a Legal Petition for Divorce If you do nothing, the petitioner can ask the court for a default judgment.3Justia. Summary and Default Divorce – Section: How Does a True Default Work
A default means the court moves forward on what the petitioner asked for. Their proposed property split. Their preferred custody arrangement. Their requested support amount. The judge never hears your side because you did not show up to give one. Silence is not a way to stop the divorce. It is a way to lose every issue inside it.
If You Think Avoiding Service Will Work
It will not. When a petitioner has made genuine efforts to find a spouse and cannot, courts allow alternative service. The most common form is service by publication, where the court authorizes a notice in a newspaper for a set number of weeks. When the notice period ends, the case moves forward whether you saw it or not, and the court can enter a default judgment just as it would after personal service.
Setting Aside a Default That Has Already Been Entered
A default divorce is not always permanent. Courts can set one aside, though the bar is high. Common grounds are not having received actual notice of the case, excusable neglect that explains the missed deadline, or fraud by the petitioner, such as lying about assets. Active-duty service members have additional protections under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act.
The window to challenge a default varies by state, and it is usually measured in months, not years. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. If a default has been entered against you, talk to a family law attorney before you assume the result is locked in.
How to Actually Influence the Outcome
A contested divorce is one in which the spouses disagree on at least one significant issue the court has to resolve.4Justia. Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce and Legal Procedures Filing a response is how you get a seat at that table. The issues that generate the most conflict are:
- Property and debt division: how the home, bank accounts, and investments are split, and who takes the outstanding debts.
- Spousal support: whether one spouse pays alimony, how much, and for how long.
- Child custody: where the children live, how parenting time is divided, and who makes major decisions about education, health care, and religion.
- Child support: the amount one parent pays the other for the children’s expenses.
File a Counter-Petition
One of the most strategically useful moves a respondent can make is filing a counter-petition, sometimes called a cross-petition. It is your own divorce filing inside the same case, requesting your preferred terms on custody, property, and support.
A counter-petition does two things. It puts your proposals in front of the judge alongside the petitioner’s, so the court sees two competing versions of a fair outcome. And it protects you if the petitioner tries to walk away. Without a counter-petition on file, the petitioner can withdraw the case at almost any point before judgment, and the proceeding simply ends. With one, the case continues on your filing even if the petitioner drops out. That matters when a petitioner is using the threat of dismissing and refiling as a pressure tactic.
Ask for Temporary Orders Early
Divorce cases can run months or more than a year, and life does not pause while they do. Either spouse can ask the court for temporary orders covering custody and visitation, child support, spousal support, and who stays in the marital home until the final judgment.
These orders matter more than most respondents realize. Judges often look at whatever arrangement has been working during the case when they make permanent decisions. If you move out and never ask for temporary custody, you can spend the rest of the case explaining why the children should not stay where they have been stable for months. Getting temporary orders in place early is one of the most consequential things a respondent does.
Use the Automatic Financial Protections
Many states impose automatic financial restraining orders the moment a divorce is filed. These bar both spouses from transferring, hiding, selling, or destroying marital property outside the ordinary course of daily living, and they apply equally to the petitioner and the respondent until the case ends or the court changes them.
If your spouse is draining accounts, running up credit card debt, or moving property to relatives, these orders give you a basis to ask the court to intervene. Violations can lead to sanctions and will cost the offending spouse credibility with the judge when property is divided.
Delay Is Not the Same as Stopping
Some respondents try to drag the case out, hoping something will change. Slow or incomplete responses to discovery requests. Repeated motions over asset valuations. Fights over minor procedural points. Frequent changes of attorney. All of this can add months to a timeline.
Judges see it. Courts have broad authority to sanction parties who abuse the process, and the penalties escalate. For discovery violations, the court can order the non-compliant spouse to pay the other side’s attorney fees. If the behavior continues, the judge can treat disputed facts as established against the uncooperative spouse, bar them from introducing certain evidence, or enter a default judgment outright. In extreme cases, a party can be held in contempt, which carries the possibility of fines or jail.
Even where delay works mechanically, it rarely helps. Costs rise on both sides, the judge who will decide your case grows impatient with you specifically, and the final outcome is rarely better than it would have been with cooperation.
Mandatory waiting periods do slow things down, but they are not a tool either spouse controls. Most states require a cooling-off period between filing and final judgment, ranging from as few as 20 days to six months or longer. About 15 states have no waiting period at all. Time passes either way; neither spouse can use the wait to call the divorce off.
The Only Ways a Divorce Case Actually Ends Without a Judgment
A divorce case stops only when the parties decide to stop it. If both spouses reconcile, they can jointly ask the court to dismiss, and the court will grant that request. The petitioner can also unilaterally withdraw the petition by filing a notice of dismissal before final judgment — as long as the respondent has not filed a counter-petition.
That last point is the catch. If you filed a counter-petition, the petitioner’s withdrawal does not end the case. Your filing keeps it alive. A counter-petition gives you leverage, but it also means you cannot rely on the petitioner’s change of heart to shut the proceedings down. Reconciliation at that stage takes a joint dismissal, with both of you signing off.
Everything else is noise. The divorce is going to be granted. The only question still open is what it says.