Dissolving a civil partnership works much like a divorce: one partner files a petition in state court, the other is formally served, and a judge resolves property division, support, and any custody questions before issuing a final decree ending the partnership. Because civil unions and domestic partnerships are governed by state law, the exact steps, waiting periods, and costs depend on where you file. Start to finish, the process can run from a few weeks to well over a year, depending mostly on whether you and your partner agree on the terms.
First, Confirm You Still Have a Civil Partnership to Dissolve
After the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, some states stopped offering civil unions and converted existing ones into marriages by operation of law. Connecticut, Delaware, New Hampshire, and Rhode Island all did this. Others, including Colorado, Hawaii, Illinois, and New Jersey, still recognize civil unions, and states like California, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington maintain domestic partnership registrations that carry most of the same state-level rights as marriage.
This matters at the threshold. If your state converted your civil union into a marriage, you need a standard divorce, not a separate dissolution. If you registered your partnership in one state and now live somewhere that doesn’t recognize civil unions, you may face jurisdictional complications before you can file anywhere. Check your state’s current status before you do anything else.
Where You Can File
You cannot file wherever you want. Nearly every state requires at least one partner to have lived there for a minimum period before the court will accept a petition. Residency requirements range from about six weeks to a full year, and many states add a shorter county residency requirement, often 30 to 90 days. If you’ve moved recently, you may need to wait.
Children complicate the picture. Under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, adopted in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, custody decisions generally belong to the court in the child’s “home state” — the state where the child has lived with a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the case was filed.1Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. The Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act If you and your partner live in different states, the dissolution itself might proceed in one state while custody is decided in another.
Filing the Petition
The case begins when one partner files a petition, sometimes called a complaint, in the appropriate court. The petition includes both partners’ names and addresses, the date and place the partnership was formed, whether there are children, and the grounds for dissolution. Every state now permits no-fault filings based on irreconcilable differences or an irretrievable breakdown, and that’s how the vast majority of cases proceed. Fault-based grounds like abandonment, cruelty, or adultery still exist in many states but require evidence and generally make the process slower and more expensive.
Most courts post standardized forms on their websites. Use the current version — an outdated form can get your filing rejected. Along with the petition, you’ll usually need a financial disclosure listing income, assets, debts, and monthly expenses. If children are involved, expect to file a statement describing their living arrangements, health, and schooling.
Filing fees vary widely. A handful of states charge under $100, the most expensive jurisdictions run over $400, and most sit somewhere in the $200 to $350 range. Fee waivers are available in many courts for people who can show financial hardship.
Serving Your Partner
Once you file, your partner must receive formal notice through service of process. This is a constitutional requirement, not a formality you can skip. You typically cannot hand the papers over yourself. A sheriff’s deputy, professional process server, or other authorized person delivers the petition and summons; some states allow service by certified mail. Your partner then has a set window, often 20 to 30 days, to file a written response.
If You Can’t Find Your Partner
When a partner has moved and genuinely cannot be located, courts may allow service by publication — a legal notice in a newspaper or, in some places, posting at the courthouse. Judges don’t grant this easily. You’ll need to document extensive efforts to find your partner: contacting family, reaching out to their last known employer, checking public records, searching online. The court reviews what you’ve done before authorizing publication.
If Your Partner Doesn’t Respond
If your partner is properly served and misses the deadline, you can ask for a default judgment. The court then proceeds based on what you asked for in your petition, and your partner loses the ability to contest property division, support, or custody. The judge still reviews the terms for basic fairness, but the non-responding partner surrenders enormous leverage. Overturning a default later requires a legitimate excuse for missing the deadline, like serious illness, plus a valid reason to contest the terms.
Agreeing or Fighting: Contested, Uncontested, and Mediation
If you and your partner agree on everything — property division, support, custody — the dissolution is uncontested. You submit a written settlement agreement, attend a short hearing where the judge confirms you both understand and accept the terms, and leave with your decree. The hearing often takes less than 20 minutes.
If you disagree on any major issue, the dissolution is contested. The court steps in, which means discovery, possibly depositions, and potentially trial. Attorney fees climb quickly. Many courts require mediation before scheduling a contested hearing, and even when it’s voluntary it’s usually faster and cheaper than litigation. A mediator helps you reach your own agreement but can’t impose one; what you discuss stays confidential and can’t be used against you later. Mediation works when both sides engage in good faith, and it’s a poor fit when there’s a serious power imbalance or a history of domestic violence.
What the Court Will Decide
Property and Debts
Division rules depend on your state. Most states use equitable distribution, meaning a judge divides marital property in a way the court considers fair, which is not necessarily 50/50. Judges weigh income, earning potential, contributions to the household, length of the partnership, and health. Nine states — Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin — follow community property, starting from the presumption that everything acquired during the partnership belongs equally to both partners. Property owned before the partnership, gifts, and inheritances are usually separate, though commingling can blur the line. Debts from the partnership generally get divided along with the assets.
Spousal Support
Courts may order support, sometimes called alimony or maintenance, for a partner who earned significantly less or left the workforce during the relationship. The amount and length depend on the length of the partnership, each partner’s earning capacity, the standard of living established during the relationship, and each partner’s age and health. Support can be short-term, lasting only long enough for the receiving partner to retrain and return to work, or longer-term after a lengthy partnership. Some states weigh misconduct; others don’t. Even if you and your partner agree on the financial terms, get a formal court-approved order. Without one, either side can reopen financial claims later.
Custody
When children are involved, the court’s standard is the best interests of the child. Judges look at each parent’s relationship with the child, the stability of each home, each parent’s mental and physical health, and the child’s own preferences when they’re old enough to express them. Custody can be legal — decisions about education, health care, and upbringing — or physical, meaning where the child lives day to day. Either can be awarded jointly. A parenting plan the two of you agree on will generally be approved as long as it serves the child’s interests. If you can’t agree, the judge decides. Some jurisdictions will not finalize the dissolution at all until adequate arrangements for the children are in place.
Child Support
Federal law requires every state to maintain child support guidelines based on the noncustodial parent’s earnings, income, and ability to pay.2eCFR. 45 CFR 302.56 – Guidelines for Setting Child Support Orders The guidelines must also account for the child’s health care needs and the noncustodial parent’s basic subsistence needs. State formulas differ — some consider only the noncustodial parent’s income, others look at both — but all must follow the federal rules. The guideline amount is presumptive: the court applies it unless a parent shows that the standard figure would be unjust in their case.
Waiting Periods and the Final Decree
Many states impose a mandatory waiting period between filing and the final decree. These range from 20 days in a few states to six months in California and Delaware, with most falling between 30 and 90 days. A handful of states have no mandatory waiting period, though the practical timeline is usually longer regardless because of the time needed to resolve finances and custody.
Once the waiting period has passed and every issue is settled, the court holds a final hearing and issues a decree of dissolution. That decree is the document that legally ends the partnership, and it incorporates the terms of your property division, support, and custody orders. Get a certified copy. You’ll need it to update financial accounts, insurance, property titles, and other records.
What to Update After the Decree
Dissolution has downstream effects people often miss. If the partnership lasted at least 10 years before dissolution became final, you are at least 62, and you haven’t remarried, you may qualify for Social Security benefits based on your former partner’s earnings record.3Social Security Administration. Code of Federal Regulations 404.331 Claiming on that record does not reduce your former partner’s benefits or affect any benefits their current spouse receives.4Social Security Administration. Can Someone Get Social Security Benefits on Their Former Spouse’s Record
Your tax filing status changes for the year the dissolution is finalized. If the decree is issued on or before December 31, you file as single or head of household for the whole tax year. Health coverage through a partner’s employer plan typically ends on dissolution, which triggers a special enrollment period for you to get your own policy. And beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, life insurance, and similar assets do not update automatically when a partnership ends. Changing them is one of the most common things people forget, and one of the most expensive to leave undone.