No, both spouses do not have to agree to divorce. Every state allows no-fault divorce, which means a court can end a marriage at the request of one spouse even when the other refuses. A spouse who won’t cooperate can stretch the timeline and raise the cost, but cannot keep the marriage intact forever.
Why One Spouse’s Decision Is Enough
No-fault divorce laws let either spouse end a marriage without proving the other did anything wrong. The filing spouse tells the court the marriage is irretrievably broken or that irreconcilable differences exist, and the court takes that statement at face value. The other spouse’s disagreement about whether the marriage is actually broken carries no legal weight. By the early 1990s, every state had adopted some form of no-fault divorce, and today no-fault grounds are available nationwide.
Some states still allow fault-based grounds like adultery, cruelty, or abandonment. These require proof and invite messy courtroom fights, so they are rarely used. The no-fault option exists precisely so that one person wanting out is enough.
What Happens If Your Spouse Refuses to Respond
Ignoring the divorce papers does not stop the divorce. It just changes the path the case takes.
After being properly served, your spouse has a deadline to file a response — typically 20 to 30 days, depending on the state. If that deadline passes with nothing filed, you ask the court to enter a default. That filing essentially locks your spouse out of jumping in late without a judge’s permission.
In many jurisdictions, a “prove-up” hearing follows. You testify briefly to the facts of the case and the fairness of what you’re asking for. Some courts accept a sworn written statement instead of live testimony. Once the court is satisfied, the judge signs a final divorce decree even though your spouse never participated.
A spouse who was properly served and simply ignored everything has limited options once the decree is signed. They can file a motion to set aside the default, but they have to show either that they were never actually served or that they had a legitimate reason for failing to respond. “I didn’t want a divorce” is not a legitimate reason.
When You Cannot Find Your Spouse
A spouse who has disappeared cannot block a divorce either. If you genuinely cannot locate them, courts allow alternative methods of delivering the papers. You first have to show the judge you made real, documented efforts to find your spouse: searching known addresses, contacting relatives, checking public records. Once the court is convinced, a judge can authorize service by publication, which means publishing notice of the divorce in a local newspaper for several consecutive weeks. After the publication period and an additional waiting time, you can request a default judgment. The specifics vary by state, but no court will let a missing spouse permanently stall your case.
Protection While the Case Drags On
When a spouse refuses to cooperate, a divorce that could have taken a few months can stretch into a year or more. Courts can issue temporary orders to handle the most urgent issues in the meantime.
If you have children, a temporary custody order determines where they live and how parenting time works until the final decree. Temporary child support and spousal support orders make sure the lower-earning spouse and the children are not left without income. Many states also impose automatic restraining orders the moment a divorce petition is filed. These orders stop either spouse from selling off assets, draining bank accounts, canceling insurance policies, or moving children out of state. They are designed to prevent financial sabotage while the case works through court, and they apply even to a spouse who refuses to engage with the case.
How Long It Takes and What It Costs
Three things set the floor on how fast a divorce can be finalized, cooperation aside.
Residency comes first. At least one spouse must have lived in the state for a minimum period before you can file. Six months is the most common threshold, but some states require as little as six weeks and others up to a year. Many states also require you to have lived in the county where you file for a shorter period, often 30 to 90 days.
Mandatory waiting periods come next. Many states require a cooling-off period after filing before the divorce can be finalized. These range from no mandatory wait at all in states like Illinois to separation requirements of a year or more in states like North Carolina and Virginia. Having a signed agreement and no minor children sometimes shortens the required wait.
Then there’s the money. Court filing fees to start a divorce case range from roughly $70 to $435 depending on the state. Every state offers fee waivers for people who cannot afford the filing cost, generally for households with income below 125 to 200 percent of the federal poverty guidelines. Recipients of public benefits like SNAP or Medicaid often qualify automatically.
Attorney fees are the bigger expense in a contested or stalled case. Hourly rates for family law attorneys range from around $100 per hour in rural areas to $400 or more in major cities. An uncontested divorce with minimal attorney involvement might cost a few thousand dollars total. A heavily contested case that ends in trial can run into tens of thousands. Representing yourself is legal in every state and common in simple cases, but it carries real risk when property, retirement accounts, or custody are at stake.
What the Judge Decides Without Your Spouse’s Input
If your spouse never responds, the court still has to resolve every issue a divorce normally resolves. The difference is that the judge decides based on what you present, with no one on the other side making a counter-case.
Property and Debt
Everything acquired during the marriage — real estate, bank accounts, retirement savings, vehicles — is generally marital property and must be divided. Debts work the same way: mortgages, credit cards, and loans taken on during the marriage belong to both spouses regardless of whose name is on the account. States follow either equitable distribution, which divides assets fairly though not necessarily equally, or community property rules, which split marital assets 50/50. Which system your state uses shapes the outcome significantly.
Custody and Child Support
When minor children are involved, the court decides both legal custody — who makes major decisions about education, healthcare, and religion — and physical custody, which is where the children live day-to-day. Parenting time schedules spell out how time is divided between households. Judges decide custody based on the children’s best interests, weighing each parent’s relationship with the children, stability, and living situation. Child support is calculated using each state’s formula, which typically considers both parents’ incomes and the time each parent spends with the children.
Spousal Support
Alimony is not automatic. Courts weigh the length of the marriage, each spouse’s earning capacity and employment history, age, health, and the standard of living during the marriage. Short marriages rarely produce an alimony award. Longer marriages, especially ones where a spouse sacrificed career advancement to raise children or support the other’s career, are more likely to result in support. Alimony can be temporary, to help a spouse get back on their feet, or longer-term, depending on the circumstances.
If You’re Not Sure You Actually Want a Divorce
Some people reach this question because they want out of the marriage but are not ready to end it legally. Legal separation, where available, can accomplish much of what a divorce does — binding custody arrangements, support orders, and property division — without actually dissolving the marriage. The couple remains legally married. People choose it for religious reasons, to keep health insurance under a spouse’s employer plan, or because they aren’t yet sure a permanent split is what they want. A legal separation takes about as long as a divorce and costs roughly the same, and it can be converted into a divorce later. Not every state recognizes formal legal separation, so confirm your state does before planning around it.