As of 2026, you can sue a homewrecker in five states: Hawaii, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah. Utah’s window is closing — the legislature passed SB 109, which eliminates the claim effective May 5, 2027.1Utah Legislature. SB 109 Alienation of Affection Amendments New Mexico, which recognized these claims for more than a century, abolished them in January 2026.2New Mexico Courts. NM Supreme Court Issues Opinion Abolishing Lawsuits for Alienation of Affections Every other state closed this door decades ago.
The Two Claims Behind a Homewrecker Lawsuit
These lawsuits belong to an old category of civil law called heart balm torts. There are two separate claims, and they are not interchangeable.
Alienation of affection is the broader one. You bring it against someone you believe intentionally destroyed the love and connection in your marriage. The focus is the emotional bond between you and your spouse and how the defendant wrecked it. Sex between the defendant and your spouse is often part of the picture but is not required.
Criminal conversation is narrower and, despite the name, has nothing to do with criminal law. It is based entirely on the act of adultery. The question is not whether your marriage suffered emotionally. It is whether the defendant had sex with your spouse while you were married. A single act is enough.
Which States Allow Which Claim
Alienation of affection remains available in:
- Hawaii
- Mississippi
- North Carolina
- South Dakota
- Utah (until May 5, 2027)
Criminal conversation is available in a smaller group:
- Hawaii
- Mississippi
- North Carolina
Where both torts exist, plaintiffs commonly file them together when the facts support it. That gives a jury two separate theories to consider.
If your situation arose in New Mexico, the claim is gone. The state Supreme Court decided Butterworth v. Jackson in January 2026, abolishing alienation of affection and overruling a precedent that had stood since 1923.2New Mexico Courts. NM Supreme Court Issues Opinion Abolishing Lawsuits for Alienation of Affections
What You Have to Prove
Alienation of Affection
You need to establish three things. First, that genuine love and affection existed in your marriage before the defendant got involved. Testimony from friends and family, photographs, and evidence of shared activities all help. Courts want to see a real emotional bond, not just a legal one.
Second, that the defendant’s deliberate actions caused that affection to be destroyed. The legal standard uses the word “malicious,” but it does not mean the defendant acted out of hatred. It means they acted intentionally in a way they knew, or should have known, would undermine your marriage. Pursuing a romantic relationship with someone you know is married clears that bar.
Third, that you suffered actual harm. Emotional devastation, the financial fallout of a divorce, or both. Without measurable damage, there is no claim.
North Carolina adds a hard cutoff. No act by the defendant can give rise to a claim if it happened after you and your spouse physically separated with the intent for that separation to be permanent.3North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 52 – Section 52-13 Conduct after separation can sometimes corroborate what happened before, but it will not support a standalone claim.
Criminal Conversation
This claim is simpler. You need to show a valid marriage existed and that the defendant had sexual intercourse with your spouse during the marriage. You do not need to show your marriage was happy, that affection was lost, or that the defendant played any role in the breakdown.
What the Other Side Will Argue
The strongest defense to alienation of affection is that the marriage was already falling apart before the defendant entered the picture. A credible record of frequent arguments, prior infidelity by either spouse, emotional detachment, or ongoing unhappiness makes it very hard to prove the defendant caused the damage.
A second defense is that the defendant did not know the person was married. Because the tort requires intentional interference with a marriage, genuine ignorance of the marital relationship is a viable defense.
That ignorance defense does not work for criminal conversation. Even a reasonable, good-faith belief that your spouse was single is no protection. Criminal conversation has its own unique defense though: consent. If your own spouse consented to the extramarital relationship, the defendant can raise that, a doctrine called connivance. It comes up in cases involving open marriages or similar arrangements.
One structural limit in North Carolina: claims for both torts can only be brought against a natural person, not a business or other entity.3North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 52 – Section 52-13
How Long You Have to File
Every state imposes a statute of limitations, and missing it means losing the right to sue. North Carolina requires filing within three years of the defendant’s last act giving rise to the claim.3North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 52 – Section 52-13 Mississippi also uses three years. Deadlines in Hawaii, South Dakota, and Utah vary, so check your state’s specific period promptly. Utah plaintiffs have the added pressure of the May 2027 sunset. Waiting to see how things play out is how viable claims die.
What You Can Recover
Juries can award compensatory damages for the actual harm you suffered: emotional distress, humiliation, loss of companionship, and loss of financial support from your spouse. They can also award punitive damages meant to punish especially egregious behavior. Getting punitives in an alienation of affection case generally requires something beyond the baseline malice the claim itself demands. Evidence of a sexual relationship, a prolonged and brazen affair, or deliberate efforts to lure your spouse away can push a jury in that direction. North Carolina juries have returned combined verdicts in the millions of dollars.
The Tax Bill People Forget About
Damages from a heart balm lawsuit are generally taxable income. Federal tax law excludes damages received for physical injuries or physical sickness, but emotional distress on its own does not qualify.4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 26 USC 104 – Compensation for Injuries or Sickness Because these torts involve emotional and relational harm rather than physical injury, both compensatory and punitive damages are typically included in your gross income.5Internal Revenue Service. Tax Implications of Settlements and Judgments A large verdict can create a serious tax bill the following April, so factor that in from the start.
How a Heart Balm Suit Affects Your Divorce
Most people considering one of these lawsuits are also going through a divorce. The two proceedings are separate but influence each other.
A pending alienation of affection or criminal conversation claim can affect negotiations over alimony and property division, especially when the defendant has financial or social ties to your spouse. The prospect of a public trial where the affair becomes part of the court record sometimes motivates a more favorable settlement.
The flip side is cost and delay. Litigating a heart balm claim while resolving custody, support, and property division stretches timelines and drives up legal fees. Running two active lawsuits also takes an emotional toll that can make reasonable settlement harder to reach. Some family law attorneys suggest resolving one case before starting the other, though the statute of limitations does not always allow that choice.