The reasons for a restraining order fall into a short list of recognized grounds: physical abuse, credible threats of violence, stalking, harassment, sexual assault, and elder or dependent adult abuse. The common thread across all of them is that a specific person has done something, or is doing something, that gives you a reasonable fear for your safety. A single serious incident can be enough. So can a documented pattern of smaller ones. What a judge is looking for is evidence that court intervention is needed to keep a dangerous person away from you.
The Six Qualifying Grounds
Every state uses its own labels and paperwork, but the underlying categories that justify a protective order are consistent. If your situation fits one of the following, you likely have grounds to file.
Physical Abuse
Any act of violence against you qualifies, whether or not it left visible injuries. Hitting, pushing, choking, and throwing objects all count. A single incident can be enough if it is serious. You do not need a prior history, and you do not need to have called the police at the time.
Threats of Violence
Spoken or written statements that create a reasonable fear of physical harm are grounds on their own. The threat does not need to have been carried out. A text message saying “I’m going to hurt you” can support an order. What matters is that a reasonable person in your position would take the threat seriously.
Stalking
Repeated, unwanted following, surveillance, or monitoring is a qualifying ground. Showing up uninvited at your workplace, tracking your location through a phone app, or repeatedly driving past your home are the kinds of behavior courts recognize. Stalking is defined by the pattern, not any single act.
Harassment
A course of unwanted contact or conduct that serves no legitimate purpose and causes substantial emotional distress qualifies. Dozens of phone calls a day, repeatedly appearing at your door, or a stream of threatening social media messages are common examples. Isolated rude behavior is not enough. The conduct has to be sustained and purposeless.
Sexual Assault
Any forced or non-consensual sexual contact is grounds for an order, regardless of whether the person is a stranger, an acquaintance, or someone you were in a relationship with. A criminal charge is not required to seek civil protection.
Elder and Dependent Adult Abuse
For people 65 and older, or dependent adults who cannot fully care for themselves, the qualifying conduct is broader than for other adults. It includes physical and emotional abuse, financial exploitation, and neglect by a caretaker. The elder or dependent adult can file, or a family member or conservator can file on their behalf.
Judges have some discretion within these categories, and a situation sitting at the edge of one may still qualify if you can show a genuine safety concern. What a judge will not do is issue an order over an unpleasant breakup, a business dispute, or ordinary interpersonal friction that does not involve threats, abuse, or a pattern of harmful conduct.
How the Grounds Map to Different Order Types
The ground that applies to your situation does not change what counts as abuse, but it does determine which type of order you file. The division is driven mostly by your relationship with the person.
Domestic Violence Orders
If the person who abused or threatened you is a current or former spouse, a dating partner, someone you share a child with, a household member, or a close relative such as a parent, sibling, or in-law, you file for a domestic violence protective order. This is the most commonly filed type. Most jurisdictions waive all filing and service fees for domestic violence orders.
Civil Harassment Orders
If the person is a neighbor, a co-worker, an acquaintance, or a stranger, the right path is a civil harassment order. The relationship requirement is essentially the inverse of the domestic violence category: you file this one precisely because you do not have a family or dating connection with the person. Some jurisdictions charge a filing fee, with waivers available for people who cannot afford one.
Elder and Dependent Adult Abuse Orders
These exist specifically to address abuse of someone 65 or older or a dependent adult. They cover the same conduct that would support a domestic violence or civil harassment order but also reach financial exploitation and caretaker neglect, which the other categories do not clearly address.
Workplace Violence Orders
When the threat is directed at an employee because of the workplace, the employer files the order on the employee’s behalf. The employee does not file personally. These typically address threats or violence from customers, former employees, or others connected to the workplace rather than domestic situations that happen to spill into a work setting.
One practical point: you generally need to file in the county where the abuse happened, where you live, or where the person you want restrained lives. Filing in the wrong county only wastes time you may not have.
Evidence That Shows the Grounds Exist
Having a qualifying reason is not the same as proving it. A judge can issue a temporary order based on your sworn statement alone, but at the full hearing both sides present evidence, and this is where cases are won or lost. The stronger the proof you bring to the specific ground you are relying on, the better your position.
- Specific documentation of each incident with dates, times, locations, and what happened. “On March 14 at approximately 8 p.m. at my apartment, he said he would kill me if I tried to leave” is far stronger than “he threatened me last month.”
- Text messages, emails, voicemails, and social media messages showing threats, harassment, or abuse. Screenshots with visible timestamps work well.
- Photos and video of injuries, property damage, or the person appearing at your location. Date and time metadata adds credibility.
- Police reports from any incident you reported, even if no arrest followed.
- Medical records tied to injuries from the abuse.
- Written statements from witnesses who saw the abuse or its aftermath, or their live testimony at the hearing.
If there are prior court cases or existing orders involving the same person, bring that too. A documented pattern of escalating behavior often moves a judge from undecided to granting the order.
What the Order Can Do Once Granted
Filing on a qualifying ground is a means to an end, and the end is a court order with specific protections. A restraining order is not a general warning to stay away. Judges tailor the terms to the situation and can include any combination of the following.
- A no-contact requirement that bars calls, texts, emails, social media messages, and communication through third parties.
- A stay-away distance that keeps the restrained person a set number of yards from your home, workplace, school, and vehicle.
- A move-out order requiring the restrained person to leave a shared residence, even if their name is on the lease.
- Temporary child custody and restrictions or supervision on visitation.
- Firearm surrender to law enforcement or a licensed dealer.
- Property control, including temporary use of a shared vehicle, protection against destruction of personal property, and protection for pets.
None of these are automatic. Ask for what you need in the petition. If you do not request a provision, you should not assume the judge will add it.
If you share children with the person you are seeking protection from, the order and any custody proceeding will overlap. A protective order does not automatically strip the other parent of all custody rights, but documented abuse weighs heavily when a court decides what is in the child’s best interests. Judges often grant temporary custody to the parent who obtained the order, and that arrangement can shape the final custody decision, particularly if the restrained parent does not contest the order or fails to appear.
Two Consequences Worth Knowing About
Two features of restraining orders reach further than most people expect, and both matter when you are deciding what to ask for.
First, federal law prohibits anyone subject to a qualifying protective order from buying, receiving, or possessing firearms or ammunition.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 Section 922 – Unlawful Acts To trigger the ban, the order must have been issued after notice and a hearing where the restrained person could participate, it must restrain them from threatening or harassing an intimate partner or child, and it must either include a finding that the person is a credible threat to physical safety or explicitly prohibit the use of force. Temporary ex parte orders issued before a hearing generally do not trigger the federal ban. The Supreme Court upheld this restriction in 2024.2Supreme Court of the United States. United States v. Rahimi, No. 22-915
Second, a valid protective order travels with you. Federal law requires every state, tribal jurisdiction, and U.S. territory to recognize and enforce an order issued elsewhere, with no need to re-register it.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 Section 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders Crossing state lines to violate a protective order is a separate federal crime on top of any state charges.4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 Section 2262 – Interstate Violation of Protection Order
Violating any valid order, even in a small way like sending a single text message, can result in arrest and criminal charges. In most states, a first violation is a misdemeanor carrying up to a year in jail, and repeat or violent violations escalate to felony charges. That is why courts take the grounds seriously on the front end: once an order exists, the conduct it prohibits is no longer a civil matter.