What Is a Custody Conciliation Conference?

A custody conciliation conference in Pennsylvania is an informal, mandatory meeting where both parents sit down with a court-appointed officer to try to work out a custody arrangement before a judge gets involved. Most counties schedule one automatically after a parent files a custody complaint, a petition to modify an existing order, or a contempt petition. If the parents reach an agreement, it becomes a consent order. If they don’t, the officer recommends an interim order and the case moves toward a hearing.

Who Runs the Conference and Who Attends

A hearing officer or conciliator appointed by the court runs the meeting. This person is typically an attorney designated to handle custody matters.¹ They are neutral. Their job is not to decide who’s right but to help both parents reach a workable agreement that serves the child’s best interests.

Both parents attend, along with their attorneys if they have them. No one else is in the room. You cannot bring family members, friends, or character witnesses. Children generally do not attend either, and most counties require special permission from the conciliator before a child can be brought.²

The setting is deliberately informal. No witnesses are sworn in, no testimony is taken under oath, and no court reporter makes a transcript.² The point is to have an honest conversation, not to build a record for appeal.

What Happens During the Meeting

The conciliator opens by explaining the process and setting ground rules, then walks both parents through the issues that need to be resolved: where the child will live, how time will be divided, who makes major decisions about school and medical care, how holidays and vacations will work, and how exchanges will happen. When the parents disagree, the conciliator identifies the sticking point and tries to broker a compromise. They may meet with each parent separately at times to explore positions more candidly.

The conciliator weighs the same best-interest factors a judge would, with the heaviest weight going to safety: which parent is more likely to protect the child from harm, and whether either parent has a history of abuse or violent behavior.³ Beyond safety, the conciliator considers who has been doing the day-to-day caregiving, each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent, the child’s need for stability in school and community, sibling relationships, work schedules, how far apart the parents live, any substance abuse history, and, if the child is mature enough, the child’s own preference.

Because no formal record is made, what you say during the conference generally stays in the conference. Pennsylvania law protects mediation communications from being disclosed or used as evidence in later proceedings.⁴ That protection is not unlimited, though. The legal definitions of “mediation” and “conciliation” don’t always overlap perfectly, so don’t treat the conference as a consequence-free zone. Be honest, but be thoughtful.

How to Prepare

Walking in with a clear idea of what you want and what you’re willing to trade is the single biggest predictor of a good result. Gather these before the conference:

A proposed custody schedule laying out which days the child would be with you, how holidays and summers would work, and where exchanges would happen.
Information about the child’s daily life: school enrollment, medical needs, extracurricular activities, and any special services the child receives.
Copies of any existing court orders, including prior custody orders and Protection from Abuse orders.
Your completed Criminal Record/Abuse History Verification form, if you have not already filed it.
Proof of income and documentation of child-related expenses such as childcare, medical costs, and school fees.

Beyond the paperwork, rank your priorities honestly. Decide which points you’ll fight for and which ones you’ll trade. Conciliators see through rigid, all-or-nothing positions quickly, and the parents who get the best outcomes come in prepared to negotiate.

The Criminal Record and Abuse History Form

Before your first in-person contact with the court, Pennsylvania requires every party in a custody case to file a Criminal Record/Abuse History Verification form. If you filed the complaint, you submit it when you file. If you were served, your form is due at least one day before the conference or within 30 days of being served, whichever comes first.⁵

The form covers you and every member of your household. It’s confidential, meaning it won’t be publicly accessible, but the court and the other party will see it. You also have to update it within five days of any change, such as a new household member or a new legal issue. Failing to file the form can result in sanctions.⁵

Possible Outcomes

Full Agreement

If both parents agree on everything, the conciliator drafts a proposed order reflecting the agreement and submits it to a judge for approval. Once the judge signs it, the agreement becomes a binding consent order,¹ and the court can enter it without a hearing.⁶ This is the best possible result. It’s faster, cheaper, and less stressful than a trial, and parents who negotiate their own agreement tend to follow it more consistently than those who have one imposed on them.

Partial Agreement

Parents sometimes agree on the big picture but can’t settle specific details, such as how to split holidays. The conciliator records what was resolved and flags the remaining issues for a pre-trial conference or hearing.

No Agreement

When parents can’t agree at all, the conciliator files a report with the court and recommends an interim custody order. That interim order goes into effect immediately and stays in place until a judge issues a final decision after a hearing.² Courts usually adopt the conciliator’s interim recommendation, so take it seriously. It often becomes the status quo a judge is reluctant to disturb later.

If You Disagree With the Recommendation

You can challenge the conciliator’s recommendation by filing exceptions. In some counties, including Philadelphia, there is no fee to file.⁷ The deadline is what matters most, and it varies by county. Westmoreland County gives 30 days to request a pre-trial conference,¹ while other counties set their own timelines on the proposed order itself. Check the date on your proposed order carefully. Missing the deadline can mean the recommended order becomes final.

Once you file exceptions, the court schedules a hearing where you explain to a judge why the recommendation was wrong. If the order does become final and you missed the exceptions deadline, you still have limited options, such as a petition for modification based on changed circumstances, but you’ll be starting from a much weaker position.⁷

What Happens If You Don’t Show Up

Skipping the conference is one of the worst moves you can make in a custody case. If you fail to appear, the conference can proceed without you, and a custody order may be entered based solely on what the other parent tells the conciliator.⁸ In some counties, the court can also issue a warrant for your arrest.⁹

The same logic applies once an order is in place. If you violate an interim or consent order by withholding the child during the other parent’s custody time, the other parent can file a contempt petition. A contempt finding can bring fines, jail time, make-up custody time for the other parent, modification of the order against you, and an order to pay the other parent’s attorney fees.

Safety Concerns and Domestic Violence

Pennsylvania law requires the court to consider any history of domestic violence when making custody decisions. If a party has been convicted of certain violent or sexual offenses, the court must determine that the party poses no threat to the child before awarding any form of custody. A parent convicted of murdering the other parent is categorically barred from receiving custody unless the child is old enough to consent.¹⁰

If you have safety concerns about being in the same room as the other parent, contact the court administrator’s office before the scheduled date. Many counties offer protective accommodations such as separate waiting areas, staggered arrival and departure times, or the option to appear by video. If you have a Protection from Abuse order, bring a copy and make sure the conciliator knows about it at the outset.

What Comes Next

If you reached a full agreement, the consent order governs your custody arrangement going forward and both parents are legally bound to follow it. If the case didn’t settle, the next step is usually a pre-trial conference before a judge, where the court makes one more attempt to narrow the issues or broker a settlement. If that fails, the case goes to a full custody trial where both parents present witnesses and evidence, and the judge makes a binding decision after weighing all the best-interest factors.¹ The interim order from the conciliation stays in effect throughout this process until the judge issues a final order.²

Either parent can later petition to modify a custody order if circumstances change significantly, such as a relocation, a change in the child’s needs, or a new safety concern. Modification requires showing the court that something meaningful has changed since the last order, not just that you’ve had second thoughts about the arrangement.

1
Westmoreland County, PA – Official Website. What is a Conciliation Conference?
2
Cumberland County, PA. Custody Conciliation
3
Pennsylvania General Assembly. Title 23 Domestic Relations – Section 5328 Factors to Consider When Awarding Custody
4
Pennsylvania General Assembly. Pennsylvania Statutes Title 42 Judiciary and Judicial Procedure Section 5949
5
Pennsylvania Code and Bulletin. 231 Pa. Code Rule 1915.3-2 – Criminal Record or Abuse History
6
Centre County Government. Centre County Local Rule 1915.4-3 – Custody Conciliation Conference
7
First Judicial District of Pennsylvania. Exceptions to Recommendation of Custody Master Instruction Sheet
8
Pennsylvania Code and Bulletin. 231 Pa. Code Rule 1915.4-2 – Partial Custody Office Conference Hearing Record Exceptions Order
9
Chester County, Pennsylvania. Notice and Order to Appear – Initial Custody Complaint
10
Pennsylvania General Assembly. Title 23 Domestic Relations – Section 5329 Consideration of Criminal Conviction