What to Bring to a Divorce Consultation: Documents, Budget, and Questions

What to bring to a divorce consultation falls into five buckets: recent financial records, legal agreements that could shape your case, a written estimate of your monthly living expenses, detailed information about your children, and a brief factual timeline of the marriage. The more of this you arrive with, the more specific the attorney’s advice can be. Showing up with partial records is far better than postponing until the file is perfect.

Financial Records

Financial documents are the backbone of every divorce. The attorney needs them to evaluate how property should be divided and to estimate what spousal or child support might look like. Gather what you can from the categories below, even if the picture is incomplete.

Income and Assets

  • Recent pay stubs for both spouses, covering at least the last two or three months.
  • Federal income tax returns from the last three years, including all schedules and W-2s. Tax returns reveal far more than salary alone: side income, rental properties, capital gains, and deductions that might indicate hidden spending.
  • Bank and investment account statements for all checking, savings, money market, and brokerage accounts, both joint and individual.
  • Retirement account statements for 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and any deferred compensation plans. Dividing retirement savings typically requires a court order called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, so the attorney needs current balances and plan details early.1Internal Revenue Service. Retirement Topics – QDRO Qualified Domestic Relations Order
  • Real estate documents, including property deeds, recent mortgage statements, and any recent appraisals or tax assessments.
  • Vehicle titles for cars, motorcycles, boats, and recreational vehicles.
  • Digital assets, including cryptocurrency wallets, NFT holdings, and online business accounts. If your spouse holds crypto, note the exchange platforms you’re aware of even without login credentials. These assets are easy to hide, and flagging them early gives the attorney time to pursue discovery.

Debts and Liabilities

Debts get divided in divorce just like assets, so documenting what you owe matters as much as documenting what you own.

  • Mortgage statements showing current balances and monthly payment amounts.
  • Auto loan statements for all financed vehicles.
  • Student loan documentation for loans held by either spouse, noting whether the debt was incurred before or during the marriage.
  • Credit card statements for all joint and individual accounts, ideally covering the last three to six months.
  • Other debts, including personal loans, medical bills, home equity lines of credit, and money owed to family members.

If you cannot access a specific document, write down the name of the creditor, the approximate balance, and the account holder. An incomplete picture is far more useful than no picture at all.

Business Interests

If either spouse owns or co-owns a business, bring recent profit-and-loss statements, business tax returns, any partnership or operating agreements, and Schedule K-1 forms if the business is structured as a partnership or S corporation. Business valuation often requires a specialist, but having these records at the first consultation helps the attorney estimate the complexity and cost of that process.

A Written Monthly Budget

This is the document people most often forget, and it is one of the most useful things you can bring. Courts rely heavily on each spouse’s monthly expenses when calculating spousal support and child support. Your attorney can give far more realistic advice about likely support figures if you arrive with a written budget.

Sit down before the consultation and estimate what you spend each month on housing costs, utilities, groceries, transportation, childcare, health expenses not covered by insurance, clothing, personal care, and any recurring subscriptions or memberships. Include minimum debt payments. Don’t round generously in either direction. The goal is honesty, not advocacy. If you’re unsure about a number, review your bank and credit card statements from the last three months and average the spending.

Legal Documents and Agreements

Certain legal papers can dramatically change how a divorce plays out. Bring any of the following that exist:

  • A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. If one exists, it likely controls property division and spousal support, and the attorney needs to read it carefully to assess enforceability.
  • Existing court orders related to custody, child support, or spousal support from a prior relationship.
  • Any separation agreement you and your spouse have already signed or drafted.
  • Protective or restraining orders, whether you obtained one or one was filed against you. These directly affect custody strategy, living arrangements, and the tone of negotiations.
  • Correspondence from your spouse’s attorney, if your spouse has already retained counsel.
  • Estate planning documents, including your current will, any trusts, and powers of attorney. During a divorce you may want to revoke a power of attorney that gives your spouse authority over your finances or medical decisions.

Personal, Family, and Children’s Information

Start with a one-page summary sheet covering the basic facts of your family. This single document saves the attorney from spending your paid consultation time gathering background details.

  • Full legal names and dates of birth for you, your spouse, and all children.
  • Date and location of your marriage, which establishes jurisdiction and the length of the union for support calculations.
  • Current addresses and phone numbers for both you and your spouse.
  • Employment details for each spouse, including employer name, job title, and approximate salary.
  • Social Security numbers for your spouse and children if you have access to them. If you don’t, note that and move on; the attorney can obtain the number through discovery later.

If you have minor children, the consultation will turn to custody and support, so go beyond names and birth dates. Write down each child’s school name and grade, any recurring medical or mental health needs, current childcare arrangements and costs, and the daily routine for drop-offs, pickups, and extracurricular activities. Note which parent handles what. If your child sees a therapist, tutor, or specialist regularly, include that provider’s name and the approximate cost.

If an informal parenting schedule is already in place because you and your spouse have separated, describe it. Courts often look at the status quo when making temporary custody decisions, so the attorney needs to know what “normal” currently looks like for your children.

A Short Timeline of the Marriage

Write a brief chronological summary. Include the date you began living together, when you married, the births of your children, major financial events like home purchases or business launches, and the circumstances that led to considering divorce. Keep it factual and concise.

If misconduct is relevant, note specific incidents with approximate dates: financial dishonesty, substance abuse, domestic violence, or infidelity. The attorney isn’t looking for a narrative of every argument. They need concrete facts that could affect custody decisions, property division, or the court’s willingness to award certain relief. A written timeline lets the attorney absorb this information quickly rather than piecing it together from scattered comments.

Insurance and Benefits

Insurance policies are both assets and planning tools, and they are easy to overlook.

  • Health insurance: your current plan’s summary page showing covered members, premium costs, and the employer that sponsors it. If you’re covered through your spouse’s employer, federal law treats divorce as a qualifying event that entitles you to continue coverage temporarily under COBRA. You generally have 60 days to elect that coverage, but the premiums are steep because you pay the full cost plus an administrative fee.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 29 USC 1163 – Qualifying Event
  • Life insurance: the declarations page for any term or whole-life policies, showing the death benefit, beneficiary, and cash value if applicable.
  • Other policies: auto, homeowners or renters, disability, and long-term care insurance. Note who is the named insured and which policies cover shared property.

You Can Speak Candidly

People often hold back during a first meeting because they’re unsure whether the attorney can share what they hear. Under the American Bar Association’s Model Rules of Professional Conduct, a person who consults with a lawyer about possibly hiring them is a “prospective client,” and the lawyer cannot use or reveal information learned during that conversation, even if no attorney-client relationship is ever formed.3American Bar Association. Rule 1.18: Duties to Prospective Client This protection applies regardless of how brief the meeting is. Be candid about finances, infidelity, substance abuse, or anything else that might affect your case. Withholding information only leads to worse advice.

Gathering Documents Safely

If your spouse is controlling, volatile, or likely to react badly to learning you’ve consulted an attorney, be deliberate about how you collect records. Access online banking portals and download statements to a secure email account your spouse doesn’t know about. Use a trusted friend’s address or a P.O. box for any mail the attorney’s office needs to send you. Avoid using a shared computer or phone to research attorneys or store documents.

Make copies of everything you bring. The attorney will want to keep some documents, and you should always retain your own set. If originals sit in a shared space like a home safe or filing cabinet and you’re worried about them disappearing, photograph every page with your phone and store the images in a password-protected cloud folder.

Questions to Ask the Attorney

The consultation is as much about evaluating the attorney as it is about getting advice. Most initial meetings run 30 to 60 minutes, so prepare your questions in advance. Some attorneys charge a flat consultation fee and others bill at their hourly rate, so ask about cost when you schedule.

  • Experience: How long have you handled divorce cases, and have you dealt with situations like mine? If your case involves a business valuation, custody dispute, or high-conflict dynamic, you want someone who has navigated those specifics before.
  • Fees: What is your hourly rate, what retainer do you require upfront, and what does that retainer typically cover? Ask whether paralegal and associate time is billed at a different rate.
  • Communication: How will I reach you with questions? How quickly should I expect responses? Will anyone else in your office work on my case?
  • Process and timeline: What are the likely steps in my case, and how long do you expect it to take? The answer depends heavily on whether your spouse is cooperative, but an experienced attorney should be able to sketch out a rough roadmap.
  • Strategy: Based on what I’ve told you, what are the biggest risks and strongest leverage points in my case? A well-prepared file is what lets the attorney give you a substantive answer here rather than generalities.

Don’t let the length of this list stop you from booking the meeting. Sixty percent of these documents in hand is enough to make the consultation worthwhile. The attorney can tell you what’s missing and help you obtain it through legal channels.