What to bring to child custody mediation falls into four stacks of paper and one document you write yourself: court filings and ID, records about your child, financial documents, communication logs, and a written parenting plan you’ve drafted in advance. Walk in with those organized and labeled, and the session can focus on negotiation instead of logistics.
Court Documents and Legal Paperwork
Start with whatever brought you to mediation. If a judge ordered it, bring the order itself — it carries your case number, deadlines, and any conditions the court attached. If you filed voluntarily, bring the paperwork you submitted. The mediator needs to understand where your case stands procedurally before anything else is useful.
Pull together every existing court order that touches your family: temporary custody arrangements, visitation schedules already in place, child support orders, and any protective or restraining orders. These set the baseline the discussion builds from.
Also bring copies of everything either parent has filed with the court. That means the initial custody petition, motions, responses, and financial disclosures. If you don’t have copies, your attorney or the court clerk’s office can provide them. Having the full case file in front of you prevents being blindsided by a motion the other parent filed that you haven’t seen.
Bring a valid government-issued photo ID. Many court-connected mediation programs verify identity before the session starts, particularly if you haven’t previously appeared before that court.
Records About Your Child
The mediation turns on what arrangement works for your child, and documentation beats assertion every time. Mediators and courts evaluate custody through factors that vary by state but commonly include each parent’s home environment, each parent’s relationship with the child, the child’s ties to school and community, and any special needs.
Bring recent school records: report cards, attendance reports, teacher progress notes, and any documentation of special education services or behavioral plans. These show which school district actually matters, how involved each parent has been, and whether a proposed schedule would disrupt your child’s education.
Medical records belong in the same folder. Compile a list of your child’s doctors, therapists, and specialists with their contact information. Include documentation of diagnoses, ongoing treatments, current medications, and upcoming appointments. If your child has allergies, a chronic condition, or mental health needs, write a short summary so the mediator can see at a glance why certain scheduling choices matter.
Finally, map out your child’s current weekly routine on a calendar. School hours, extracurriculars, recurring appointments, social commitments. This calendar becomes the practical foundation for whatever custody schedule you propose, because it anchors the conversation in your child’s actual life rather than an abstract week.
Financial Documents
Child support typically rides alongside custody, and the mediator needs accurate income figures to have that conversation. Even when support isn’t formally on the agenda, financial transparency moves things along and heads off accusations that you’re hiding income.
Bring your three most recent pay stubs or earnings statements, your most recent W-2 or 1099 forms, and your federal tax return from the prior year. Some mediators ask for two to three years of returns to spot income trends, so having those ready saves a return trip. If you’re self-employed, bring profit-and-loss statements and business tax returns.
Then document what you actually spend on your child. Health insurance premium statements, out-of-pocket medical and dental receipts, tuition or childcare invoices, and the cost of extracurricular activities all belong here. These numbers directly affect support calculations and give the mediator a real picture of what raising your child costs.
Communication Records
Print the relevant text threads, emails, and co-parenting app logs. Organize them chronologically and flag the exchanges that show patterns: consistent cooperation, recurring conflicts, missed pickups, refusals to discuss scheduling.
Be selective. The mediator doesn’t need every text you’ve ever exchanged. Focus on communications that show how co-parenting decisions have actually been handled — who starts the conversations about the child, how disagreements play out, and whether informal agreements have held. If the other parent has been hostile or unresponsive in writing, the records say so without you having to characterize the relationship.
A Written Parenting Plan Proposal
The single most useful document you can bring is a written parenting plan proposal. It doesn’t have to be perfect — mediation exists to negotiate — but it gives the session a concrete starting point rather than open-ended questions. Draft it with the following pieces in mind.
Physical Custody Schedule
Spell out how you propose to divide your child’s time during the school week and on weekends. Common arrangements include alternating weeks, a 2-2-3 rotation where the child spends two days with one parent, two with the other, and three with the first, or a 2-2-5-5 pattern. The right fit depends on your child’s age, the distance between homes, and each parent’s work schedule. Tie whatever you propose back to the weekly calendar you’ve already prepared.
Holidays, Breaks, and Vacations
Holiday scheduling causes more post-mediation conflict than almost anything else, usually because the original agreement was vague. Propose a specific alternating pattern for major holidays, such as Thanksgiving with one parent in even years and the other in odd years. Address winter and spring breaks with exact division dates rather than “split equally.” For summer, propose how many consecutive weeks each parent gets and how far in advance travel plans need to be shared. Precise now, fewer arguments later.
Legal Custody and Decision-Making
Legal custody governs who makes major decisions about your child’s health, education, and welfare. Decide ahead of the session whether you want joint legal custody, where both parents share decision-making authority, or whether one parent should have final say on specific categories. One workable approach is designating one parent as tiebreaker for medical decisions and the other for education decisions, with both parents required to consult first.
Right of First Refusal
A right of first refusal clause says that when one parent can’t be with the child during their scheduled time, they have to offer that time to the other parent before calling a babysitter or relative. It’s optional, but your mediator will likely raise it. If you want to include one, pick a time threshold — many parents set it at four hours or at overnight absences. Specify the communication method (text, email, or co-parenting app) and how quickly the other parent needs to respond. Vague clauses create constant friction; specific ones work.
Travel and Relocation
Say what happens if either parent wants to travel with the child or move. For travel, propose how much advance notice is required for out-of-state or international trips and whether an itinerary and contact information are required. For relocation, most states require written notice to the other parent well before a move, commonly 30 to 60 days in advance. Many states also set mileage thresholds, often around 50 miles, beyond which a move triggers formal court procedures rather than just notification. Include a relocation provision even if neither of you is planning a move; these disputes are much easier to handle when the rules were set during mediation.
Communication and Exchange Logistics
Round out your plan with the operational details. Propose a communication method between parents, with many mediators recommending a dedicated co-parenting app that creates a timestamped record. Specify who handles drop-offs and pick-ups, where exchanges happen, and the protocol when someone runs late. If in-person exchanges are hard, consider a neutral location like the child’s school, where one parent drops off and the other picks up without direct contact.
Safety Documentation If It Applies
Domestic violence, child abuse, and credible threats change the picture. If you have a protective order against the other parent, or a documented history of abuse, you may not need to mediate at all. Most states let parties request an exemption from mandatory mediation when domestic violence is present, and mediation programs are required to screen for these issues before scheduling.
If mediation does go forward, bring copies of any protective orders, police reports, documentation of injuries, and communications showing threatening behavior. Many courts can arrange mediation without both parents in the same room, with the mediator meeting each parent separately, sometimes on different days or by video from separate locations. Raise exchange concerns during the session; supervised options include law enforcement safe zones, public locations like schools or libraries, and dedicated exchange centers that stagger arrival times and use separate entrances.
Quick Checklist
- Mediation order, case number, all existing custody and support orders, protective orders, filed petitions and motions
- Valid government-issued photo ID
- Report cards, attendance records, teacher correspondence, medical records, medication list, doctor contact information, special needs documentation
- Weekly calendar showing school, activities, appointments, and social commitments
- Three recent pay stubs, W-2 or 1099 forms, one to three years of tax returns, health insurance statements, childcare and education receipts, out-of-pocket medical expenses
- Printed emails, text messages, and co-parenting app logs organized chronologically
- Written parenting plan covering physical custody schedule, holiday and vacation division, legal custody, right of first refusal, relocation and travel, and exchange logistics
- If applicable: protective orders, police reports, evidence of threats or abuse
The parents who get the most out of mediation walk in with the paperwork in order, the calendar in hand, and a draft plan specific enough to argue over. That’s the posture that produces an agreement your child can actually live inside.