If someone is stalking you, start documenting every incident in writing, report the behavior to your local police, and petition the court for a civil protection order that legally restricts your stalker’s contact. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states and under federal law, and knowing what to do if someone is stalking you comes down to building a record strong enough to use the legal tools already designed for your situation. The documentation you create right now matters as much as anything a detective or lawyer does later.
Know What Legally Counts as Stalking
Stalking is a repeated pattern of behavior directed at you that would make a reasonable person fear for their safety or experience serious emotional distress. It does not require a single dramatic threat. The weight comes from the pattern: a course of conduct made up of two or more acts that, taken together, show a clear purpose.
That pattern can include unwanted calls, texts, emails, or social media messages. It can include showing up at your home or workplace uninvited, following you, watching you from a distance, or leaving unwanted items at your door. Threats against you, your family, or your pets also qualify. Federal law covers stalking that crosses state lines or uses the internet or any electronic communication system.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261A – Stalking
One point that catches people off guard: in most jurisdictions, you do not have to prove the stalker intended to frighten you. What matters is whether the conduct would cause a reasonable person to feel afraid or distressed. A claim that they “meant no harm” or were “just trying to talk” does not change the analysis if the behavior fits the pattern.
Document Every Incident
Documentation is the backbone of every stalking case. Without it, you are relying on memory against a person who will almost certainly deny or minimize what happened. Start a dedicated log and treat it like evidence from day one, because that is exactly what it will become.
For each incident, record the date, time, and exact location. Describe what happened in specific, factual language: what the person did, what they said, how close they came, how long the encounter lasted. If anyone else saw it, write down their names and how to reach them.
Preserve every form of communication. Screenshot text messages, emails, and social media messages before the sender can delete them. Save voicemails by forwarding them to a secondary email account or recording them. If the stalker leaves physical items such as letters or unwanted gifts, photograph them where you found them before moving them, and store the originals in a secure place. Gaps in documentation are the first thing a defense attorney will exploit.
Store copies of everything in at least two places, such as a secure cloud folder and a USB drive kept outside your home. If the stalker has access to your devices or accounts, any evidence stored only on your phone could be compromised or deleted.
Check Your Devices and Surroundings for Tracking
Tech-enabled stalking is now one of the most common forms, and it often operates invisibly. If your stalker seems to know your location, your plans, or the content of your private conversations without explanation, your devices may be compromised.
Hidden Trackers
Small GPS trackers and Bluetooth devices like Apple AirTags can be hidden in a vehicle’s wheel well, under a seat, in a bag, or tucked inside a coat pocket. Physically search your car, bags, and frequently carried items. Check under the dashboard, inside the trunk, behind bumpers, and in any compartment you do not regularly open.
Both iPhones and Android phones can detect unknown AirTags traveling with you. iPhones send an automatic alert if an unfamiliar AirTag has been near you for an extended period. Android users can download Apple’s Tracker Detect app or a similar third-party Bluetooth scanning app. If you find a tracker, do not destroy it. Bring it to the police along with photos of where and when you found it. It may contain information that helps identify or prosecute the stalker.
Stalkerware on Your Phone
Stalkerware is software secretly installed on a phone that lets someone else monitor your location, read your messages, view your photos, and even listen through your microphone. Warning signs include unexplained battery drain, sudden spikes in data usage, or changes to settings you did not make.2Federal Trade Commission. Stalkerware: What To Know
Think carefully before removing suspected stalkerware. If you wipe your phone, the stalker will immediately know you found it, which can escalate the danger. The FTC recommends talking with a domestic violence advocate about safety planning before changing your device. Use a different phone or a library computer to make that call. If you decide to act, a full factory reset will remove most stalkerware, but back up your evidence first and change all passwords from a clean device afterward.2Federal Trade Commission. Stalkerware: What To Know
Digital Hygiene
Lock down your social media privacy settings and stop sharing your location in posts or stories. Change passwords on all accounts, enable two-factor authentication, and check which apps have access to your location data. If you shared a phone plan, cloud storage account, or streaming login with the stalker, move to separate accounts immediately. Review your installed apps for anything you do not recognize, and check whether your phone has been “rooted” (Android) or “jailbroken” (iPhone), which would have been necessary to install certain types of spyware.
Report It to Law Enforcement
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For situations that are not emergencies but are escalating, contact your local police department’s non-emergency line or go to a station in person to file a report.
Bring your documentation: the log, screenshots, photos, and any physical evidence. Walk the officer through the pattern of behavior, not just the most recent incident. Stalking cases live or die on demonstrating a pattern, so the officer needs the full picture. Ask for a case number and the name of the assigned officer or detective. The report creates an official record even if an arrest does not happen immediately, and that record matters if you later seek a protection order or the behavior escalates.
If the stalking involves the internet, email, or electronic communications that cross state lines, you can also file a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.3Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). Frequently Asked Questions Federal cyberstalking charges are separate from state charges and can be pursued in addition to them. Include email headers, usernames, IP addresses, and timestamps whenever possible.
If the stalker is arrested and jailed, register with the Victim Information and Notification Everyday (VINE) system at vinelink.dhs.gov to get automatic alerts if the person is released or transferred.
File for a Civil Protection Order
A civil protection order (sometimes called a restraining order) is a court order that legally restricts your stalker’s behavior. It can prohibit the person from contacting you, coming near your home or workplace, and communicating with you through any channel. Some orders also cover your children’s schools and the homes of family members.
How to File
File a petition with the court, usually in the county where you live or where the stalking took place. The petition describes the incidents in detail, which is where your documentation log becomes essential. Under the Violence Against Women Act, states cannot charge stalking victims filing fees for protection orders.
A judge reviews the petition and may issue a temporary protection order the same day for immediate safety. A hearing is then scheduled where both sides can present evidence. If the judge finds the evidence supports your claim, a final protection order is issued. These orders typically last one to five years depending on the circumstances, and you can petition to renew them if the threat continues. A lawyer is not required, but having one can help, particularly if the stalker contests the order.
Firearms Restrictions
Federal law prohibits a person subject to a qualifying protection order from possessing firearms or ammunition. The order must have been issued after a hearing where the respondent had notice and a chance to participate, and it must either include a finding that the person is a credible threat to the physical safety of an intimate partner or child, or explicitly prohibit the use of physical force against them.4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 922 – Unlawful Acts One limitation to be aware of: this federal firearms restriction applies in situations involving intimate partners. If your stalker is a stranger or someone you never had an intimate relationship with, the federal prohibition may not apply, though many states have broader firearms restrictions tied to their own protection order laws.
Enforcing the Order
A protection order is only useful if you enforce it. If your stalker contacts you, shows up at a restricted location, or otherwise violates the order, call the police immediately and report the violation. Bring your copy of the order. In most states, a first violation is a misdemeanor that can result in arrest and jail time. Repeated violations or violations committed while committing another crime often escalate to felony charges. Keep documenting every violation the same way you documented the original stalking behavior.
Protect Where You Live
One of the most dangerous moments for a stalking victim is when the stalker knows your address. A few protections exist to help you relocate safely or keep that address hidden.
If you live in federally subsidized housing, the Violence Against Women Act gives you specific protections. You cannot be evicted or lose your housing assistance because of the stalking. You can request an emergency transfer to a different unit for safety reasons, and if you hold a Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher, your housing provider must allow you to move with continued assistance.5HUD.gov / U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) You can also request a lease bifurcation to remove the stalker from your lease if you share one.
Roughly half the states run Address Confidentiality Programs that give stalking victims a legal substitute address. The program issues a mailing address you use on public records, voter registrations, and government correspondence, while your actual address stays confidential and your mail is forwarded. Eligibility generally requires that you have relocated to an address your stalker does not know. Contact your state’s Secretary of State office or attorney general’s office to find out whether your state offers this program.
Many states also allow stalking victims to terminate a residential lease early without penalty, though the specific requirements vary. You may need to provide a copy of a police report, a protection order, or a statement from a victim advocate. If your state does not have a specific statute, negotiate directly with your landlord. Landlords often prefer a cooperative early termination over the liability of keeping a tenant in a dangerous situation.
Tell Your Employer
Stalking often follows you to work, and your employer may have obligations to help keep you safe. About half the states have laws requiring employers to provide some form of leave for employees dealing with stalking, domestic violence, or sexual assault. This leave covers activities like attending court hearings, meeting with law enforcement, relocating, or receiving counseling.
Federal employees have explicit safe leave options. The Office of Personnel Management directs agencies to grant annual leave, sick leave, and leave without pay for safety-related purposes, including medical treatment, securing new housing, attending court, or working with victim service organizations. A credible statement that you are dealing with stalking is generally sufficient to get leave approved, and you can request leave through a third party like an Employee Assistance Program coordinator if you are uncomfortable speaking with a supervisor directly.6U.S. Office of Personnel Management. Fact Sheet: Time Off for Safe Leave Purposes
Regardless of your state’s leave law, tell your employer about the situation. This is not only about time off. Your workplace security team can watch for the stalker, screen your calls, change your schedule or work location, and escort you to your vehicle. If you do not tell them, they cannot help, and your coworkers could unknowingly give the stalker information about your whereabouts.
Build a Safety Plan and Call a Hotline
A safety plan is a set of specific steps you can take quickly if the stalking escalates. Think it through now, not in the moment. Where will you go if you need to leave your home suddenly? Who can you call at any hour? Do you have a bag packed with essentials, copies of your important documents, and enough cash to get through a few days? Is there a safe room in your home you can secure if the stalker shows up before you can leave?
Vary your routines. Take different routes to work. Change what time you leave in the morning. Park in well-lit areas close to building entrances. Tell trusted friends, family, and coworkers what the stalker looks like and what vehicle they drive. Give them a recent photo if you have one. The more eyes watching for this person, the harder it is for the stalker to approach unnoticed.
At home, upgrade your locks, install a doorbell camera or security system, and make sure exterior lighting covers all entry points. If you live in an apartment, talk to building management about restricting who can be buzzed in.
You do not have to figure this out alone. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 provides confidential support, crisis intervention, and referrals in over 200 languages. VictimConnect, reachable at 1-855-484-2846, offers confidential referrals to local services for victims of any crime, including stalking. Both are available by phone, text, and online chat. A trained advocate can help you build a safety plan tailored to your situation, connect you with local legal aid to file for a protection order, and coordinate with law enforcement on your behalf.