If someone just violated your restraining order, here is what to do: get yourself somewhere safe and call 911 if you feel threatened, write down and preserve everything about the incident, file a police report, and take the violation back to the court that issued your order. Those four moves work together, and skipping any one of them weakens the next.
Get Safe First
If the restrained person is near you or you feel physically threatened, call 911 before you do anything else. Police can respond, remove the person, and in most states are required by law to make an arrest when they have probable cause to believe a protective order was violated. Nothing else on this page matters more than putting distance between yourself and the violator right now.
Once you’ve called or confirmed there’s no immediate danger, move to a place the violator doesn’t know about or can’t easily reach. A trusted friend’s home, a public space with other people around, or a domestic violence shelter all work. Tell someone you trust what happened so another person knows your situation.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233, or you can text START to 88788.1National Domestic Violence Hotline. Domestic Violence Support Advocates can help you build a safety plan and connect you with local shelter and legal help.
Make Sure It Counts as a Violation
Pull out your copy of the order and read it. Anything the order prohibits is a violation, no matter how small it looks. A single text message counts. A “like” on your social media post can count. A wave from across a parking lot can count. The question is whether the order forbids it, not whether it felt threatening.
Most orders prohibit some mix of the following:
- Direct contact of any kind: phone calls, texts, emails, voicemails, letters, and social media messages or friend requests.
- Physical proximity: coming within a set distance of you, your home, your workplace, or your children’s school.
- Third-party contact: using someone else to pass a message or make contact on the violator’s behalf.
- Firearm or ammunition possession, which federal law independently prohibits for people subject to qualifying protective orders.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 922 – Unlawful Acts
Indirect digital contact catches a lot of people off guard. Tagging you in a post, commenting on a mutual friend’s page where you’re obviously the audience, or creating a new account to message you all qualify as contact if your order prohibits communication. The useful test: if it would be out of bounds in person, it’s out of bounds online.
Document the Violation While It’s Fresh
Evidence is what turns “they violated my order” into a provable case. Open a written log the same day. For each incident, record the date, time, and location, and write down exactly what happened, including any words spoken.
Preserve every piece of digital evidence. Screenshot text messages, emails, social media posts, and voicemails with the date and timestamp visible. If the violator sent someone else to contact you, write down that person’s name and what they said. Get the names and numbers of any witnesses. Photos or video of the violator at your home or workplace are powerful evidence if you can capture them safely.
Keep everything in one place — a folder on your phone, a physical binder, or both. You’ll need it for the police, and you’ll need it again in court.
Report It to the Police
File a report whether or not the violation involved a direct threat. For emergencies, you’ve already called 911. For a non-urgent violation like a text message or a drive-by of your home, call your local police department’s non-emergency line.
When the officer arrives, lead with the key facts: you have a restraining order, the restrained person violated it, and here is your evidence. Have your copy of the order ready. Show the officer your log, screenshots, photos, and witness information. Before the officer leaves, ask for the police report number and a copy of the report for your records.
Enforcement isn’t always smooth. If the responding officer is dismissive or tells you it’s a “civil matter,” that officer is wrong. A protective order violation is a criminal offense in every state. Ask to speak with a supervisor, request a written report even if no arrest is made, and move on to the next step.
Take the Violation Back to Court
Charges filed by the prosecutor are one track. You have a second, independent track: going back to the court that issued your order and asking the judge to hold the violator in contempt. A lot of people stop at the police report because they assume that’s all they can do. It isn’t.
File a Motion for Contempt
Violating a court order is contempt of court, and you don’t need a prosecutor to act for you to pursue it. You can file a motion asking the judge to find the violator in contempt and impose penalties. The exact process varies by jurisdiction, but you’ll generally go to the clerk’s office at the court that issued your order, file a written statement describing the violation with your supporting evidence, and request a hearing. Many courts have victim advocates or self-help centers that can walk you through the paperwork at no cost.
Contempt has real teeth. A judge can impose fines, jail time, or both. This runs separately from any criminal charges, so the violator can face consequences on two fronts at once. Contempt is also useful when the prosecutor’s office is slow or declines to file. The court that issued your order has its own power to enforce it.
Ask for Stricter Terms
A violation is also grounds to ask the court to modify your order with stronger protections. You can file a motion at any time requesting a larger no-contact zone, restrictions on the violator’s internet activity, surrender of firearms, or mandatory check-ins with a probation officer. At least fourteen states allow judges to order GPS monitoring for someone who has violated a protective order, and the violation itself is strong evidence that your current terms aren’t enough.
You Should Not Be Charged a Fee
Federal law prohibits states from charging victims to file, issue, register, modify, enforce, or serve a protective order.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 34 USC 10461 – Grants If a clerk’s office tries to charge you for any of these actions, cite that requirement. It covers the original order, modifications, and enforcement proceedings alike.
If You’ve Moved or the Violator Crossed State Lines
A valid protective order follows you. Federal law requires every state, tribe, and territory to enforce a protective order issued by another jurisdiction as if a local court had issued it, as long as the original court had jurisdiction and the restrained person received notice and a chance to be heard.4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders
You don’t have to register the order in your new state for police there to enforce it. Registering a certified copy with local law enforcement and the local court clerk can speed things up during a crisis, because officers can verify it in their system instead of calling another state’s court. Registration is free, and the enforcing jurisdiction cannot notify the restrained person that you’ve registered unless you ask them to.
When a violator deliberately crosses state lines to violate the order, the conduct becomes a federal crime carrying far steeper penalties than most state-level charges, including up to five years in prison even when no physical injury occurs and up to life if the victim dies.5Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2262 – Interstate Violation of Protection Order
What the Violator Can Face
State penalties vary, but the pattern is consistent. A first offense is typically charged as a misdemeanor carrying up to a year in jail and a fine. Some states impose mandatory minimums even for a first violation. Repeat violations, or ones involving physical injury or weapon possession, can be charged as felonies with multi-year prison sentences.
Federal penalties can stack on top of state charges. Possessing a gun or ammunition while subject to a qualifying protective order is a federal felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison.6Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 924 – Penalties Crossing state lines to violate the order triggers the federal sentencing scale described above. And a contempt finding from the issuing court sits on top of all of it, with its own fines and jail time.
Collateral Consequences for the Violator
Custody and Visitation
A documented violation can reshape a custody case. Courts in every state consider domestic violence when determining a child’s best interests, and many states apply a presumption against custody for a parent who has committed domestic violence. Judges can order supervised visitation, reduce parenting time, or in extreme cases eliminate visitation if safe contact cannot be arranged. The violator may also be ordered to pay the other parent’s court costs and attorney’s fees connected to the violation.
Immigration
If the violator is not a U.S. citizen, a violation creates serious immigration risk. Federal law makes a non-citizen deportable if a court determines they violated the portion of a protective order that protects against credible threats of violence, repeated harassment, or bodily injury. This covers temporary and final orders, and the violating conduct does not need to involve physical violence.7Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 8 USC 1227 – Deportable Aliens Even where a violation doesn’t directly trigger removal, it can block lawful permanent residency or citizenship and create problems reentering after travel abroad.