If someone is harassing you, the most effective response combines four things: get yourself safe, document every incident, report the behavior to law enforcement, and ask a civil court for a protective order. Knowing what to do when being harassed also means recognizing that workplace harassment runs on a separate track through your employer and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, with deadlines that can bar your claim if you miss them. The steps below walk through each piece in the order most people need them.
Take Care of Your Safety First
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Everything else comes after that.
Once the acute risk is handled, make a few practical changes. Vary your routes and your schedule. Avoid places where the person is likely to be. Keep your phone charged, and program emergency contacts so you can reach someone quickly; some people save those contacts under different names in case the harasser gets hold of the phone. Tell at least one person you trust what is happening. Secrecy isolates you and leaves no one positioned to help if things escalate.
Lock down your digital life at the same time. Change passwords on email, social media, and banking. Turn off location sharing in your phone’s settings and on social profiles. If you suspect your computer is being monitored, use a different device, at a library or a friend’s home, for sensitive searches like protective order forms or hotline numbers.
What Legally Counts as Harassment
Not every unpleasant interaction is legally actionable. Federal law describes harassment as a serious act or course of conduct directed at a specific person that causes substantial emotional distress and serves no legitimate purpose.1Legal Information Institute. 18 USC 1514(d)(1) – Course of Conduct A “course of conduct” means repeated acts over time that show a continuity of purpose. The distress has to be substantial, not ordinary annoyance.
The federal stalking statute reaches further and covers electronic conduct specifically. It is a crime to use the mail, the internet, or any electronic communication service to engage in conduct that places someone in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily injury, or that would reasonably be expected to cause substantial emotional distress.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261A – Stalking “Reasonably expected” is an objective test: would an average person in your position have been seriously frightened or distressed.
State laws vary. Some require a repeated pattern; others allow charges based on a single serious act like a credible threat. The common thread is that the behavior must be intentional, directed at you, and cause genuine harm or fear. A neighbor who occasionally annoys you is not committing legal harassment. Someone who keeps appearing at your workplace uninvited, sends threatening messages, or follows you after being told to stop almost certainly is.
Document Every Incident
A detailed record is the single most important thing you will build. Courts and investigators need to see a pattern, and memory on its own will not carry a case. Start a dedicated log the moment the harassment begins.
For each incident, write down the date, time, and exact location. Describe what happened factually, including direct quotes of anything said. Note the names and contact information of anyone who witnessed it. Record how the incident affected you emotionally and physically, because substantial distress is one of the elements you have to establish.
Keep the log somewhere secure. A password-protected document backed up to cloud storage works. A physical notebook works too, as long as the harasser cannot get to it.
Preserving Digital Evidence
Texts, posts, emails, and voicemails are powerful evidence, but they have to be preserved carefully. Screenshots are standard, but courts sometimes question them when there is no way to confirm the time or whether the image was altered. Capture the full screen with timestamps, sender information, and the URL or app header visible. Do not crop. Save original files when you can, not only screenshots.
For voicemails and audio messages, record them onto a separate device and keep the originals. Photograph property damage with the camera’s timestamp enabled. File everything alongside your log so each piece ties to a specific entry.
Do not delete harassing messages, however much you want to. If the harasser later deletes their copy, your preserved versions may be the only proof the messages existed.
Report Harassment to the Police
A police report creates an official record and can lead to criminal charges. You do not need to wait for the situation to turn violent. Contact your local police, bring your documentation, and file.
Officers will want specifics: the harasser’s name, description, and relationship to you; what they did; when and where; and whether anyone witnessed it. Bring printed copies of threatening messages, screenshots, and your incident log. Get the report number before you leave. You will need it when you apply for a protective order and if you have to file follow-up reports.
Criminal cases and civil protective orders run on different evidence standards. Criminal prosecution requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt. A protective order uses the lower “preponderance of the evidence” standard, meaning more likely than not. That is why harassment that does not support criminal charges can still support a protective order, and why pursuing both tracks at once is often the right move.
Ask the Court for a Protective Order
A protective order is a civil court order that bars someone from contacting you, coming near you, or continuing the harassment. Federal law defines a protection order broadly as any civil or criminal court order issued to prevent threatening acts, harassment, or unwanted contact.3Legal Information Institute. 18 USC 2266 – Definitions Violating one is itself a crime, even if the underlying harassment was never charged.
What You Need to File
You will need identifying information for yourself and the respondent: full legal name, date of birth if you know it, and a physical address where law enforcement can hand-deliver court papers. A post office box will not work; service has to be in person. You will also need the detailed narrative from your log.
Petition forms are available on your local courthouse website or at the clerk’s office. When you describe the harassment, transfer the facts straight from your log and attach your evidence. Specificity matters. “He kept texting me” is weak. “Between March 4 and March 18, he sent 47 text messages after I told him on March 3 not to contact me, including two that said [specific quotes]” is strong.
The Filing Process
Filing fees vary. Many courts charge nothing when the petition involves violence, threats, or stalking, and federal grant conditions push states to waive filing and service costs for protection orders. Civil harassment petitions that do not involve violence may carry fees running into the hundreds of dollars. If the fee is a problem, ask the clerk about a waiver.
After you file, you will usually have an immediate ex parte hearing where only you appear. The respondent is not there yet because they have not been notified. The judge reviews your petition and may ask questions. If the judge finds you face immediate risk, the court issues a temporary protective order that takes effect right away and stays in place until the full hearing, typically a few weeks out.
Law enforcement or a process server then delivers the temporary order and petition to the respondent. At the full hearing both sides appear and present evidence and testimony. If the judge finds the harassment occurred and continued protection is warranted, the court issues a longer-term order that can last a year or more depending on the jurisdiction.
Enforcement Across State Lines
If you move or the harasser follows you across state lines, the order still works. Federal law requires every state, tribal government, and territory to give full faith and credit to protection orders issued elsewhere and enforce them as if they were local.4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders Keep a certified copy with you so local officers can verify and enforce it immediately.
What Happens if the Order Is Violated
A protective order only helps if you enforce it. If the respondent contacts you, shows up at a prohibited location, or breaks any other term, call the police. Have your copy of the order in front of you and tell the officer exactly which provision was violated.
Violating a protective order is a criminal offense in every state. First offenses are usually misdemeanors. Repeat violations often carry mandatory jail time, and third or later violations can be charged as felonies in many jurisdictions.
Federal law adds another layer. Stalking in violation of a protective order carries a minimum of one year in federal prison.5Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261 – Interstate Domestic Violence When a violation crosses state lines, federal penalties under the interstate violation statute can reach five years, or up to life imprisonment if the victim dies.6Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2262 – Interstate Violation of Protection Order
Online Harassment
Harassment carried out through email, social media, texts, or other electronic means falls under the same federal stalking statute that covers in-person conduct. Using any electronic communication service to harass, intimidate, or cause substantial emotional distress is a federal crime punishable by up to five years in prison.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261A – Stalking A separate statute covers harassing phone calls and telecommunications, making it illegal to use a phone or telecommunications device to threaten, abuse, or repeatedly harass someone, with penalties of up to two years in prison.7Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 47 USC 223 – Obscene or Harassing Telephone Calls in the District of Columbia or in Interstate or Foreign Communications
The order of operations matters here. First, preserve. Screenshot every message, post, and comment with timestamps and profile information visible, and save URLs. If content might disappear, capture it immediately. Second, report the behavior to the platform. Most services prohibit harassment in their terms of service, and a report can lead to removal or suspension.8StopBullying.gov. Report Cyberbullying Third, block the harasser. Block last, not first, because blocking can cut off your ability to capture future messages.
If any of the online conduct includes threats of violence, do not stop at a platform report. File with the police and bring your preserved evidence. Online threats that put you in reasonable fear of bodily harm meet the threshold for both criminal charges and a protective order.
If the Harassment Is at Work
Workplace harassment is a form of employment discrimination when it targets you based on a protected characteristic such as race, sex, age, religion, national origin, or disability.9U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Harassment The process is different because your employer has its own legal duty to address it.
Reporting Inside the Company
Pull up your employee handbook and read the anti-harassment policy. Most employers name a specific person or department to receive complaints; some allow a report to any manager.10U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Harassment Policy Tips Put your complaint in writing even if the handbook does not require it, and keep a copy. That paper trail proves the company was on notice.
Your report should carry the same factual detail as your harassment log: who, what, when, where, witnesses, and work impact. The employer is expected to conduct a prompt, impartial investigation. If it fails to investigate, or if the harassment continues after you reported it, the company may be liable for allowing the conduct to persist.9U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Harassment
Retaliation Is Illegal
Under Title VII, an employer cannot fire, demote, reassign, cut hours, or take any other adverse action against you because you complained, filed a charge, or participated in an investigation.11U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Enforcement Guidance on Retaliation and Related Issues Retaliation is a separate violation. Document it the same way you documented the original harassment.
Filing a Charge With the EEOC
If the employer does not resolve the problem, you can file a formal charge of discrimination with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. You have 180 calendar days from the last harassing act to file, and that stretches to 300 days if your state or local government has its own anti-discrimination agency, which most do.12U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. How to File a Charge of Employment Discrimination Missing that deadline can bar your claim permanently, so do not wait on the internal process before checking your window.
You can file through the EEOC Public Portal online, in person at a local EEOC office, by phone at 1-800-669-4000, or by mail.12U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. How to File a Charge of Employment Discrimination The agency investigates and tries to resolve the matter. If it cannot, it issues a Notice of Right to Sue, which lets you file a federal lawsuit. You then have 90 days from receiving that notice to get your case into court.13U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Filing a Lawsuit
Where to Get Help
You do not have to work through this on your own. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-799-7233 and by texting START to 88788. Advocates can help with safety planning, local shelter and counseling referrals, and connections to legal help. If you are deaf or hard of hearing, the Deaf Hotline offers video phone support at 1-855-812-1001.
For legal help, look into legal aid organizations near you. Many provide free or low-cost representation for protective order cases, and income thresholds are often more generous than people assume. Your courthouse clerk can usually point you to legal aid, and many courts have self-help centers where staff walk you through protective order paperwork regardless of income.